The Sexiest Man Alive

The Sexiest Man Alive

I know I have a distinct preference when it comes to my heroes in books and I even admit that it finds its expression in real life too. It is a shallow preference, stupid and superficial. In many ways it is a very un-feminist preference, which is why I have, for a...
My Son and Feminism

My Son and Feminism

It is three weeks before my due date and I am starting to think about the way I want my son to grow up. There are many decisions that are still very far away, many things that will grow organically. But there are some things I already now have to look out for. I have...
The Protector of Civil Liberties – the Police

The Protector of Civil Liberties – the Police

I am not the first, or even the thousand’s voice, reacting to the recent development in which it became clear that British police monitor such personal things as our reading habits. I am not even the most concerned. But that will not keep me from voicing some thoughts...
Research, Erotica and Realism in Writing

Research, Erotica and Realism in Writing

When you write about sex, when you write erotica, do you need to research your subject matter? The question is not as stupid as it might sound. Some people would argue that a sexually active adult needs no more than his or her memories to assemble a realistic and...
Dominance and submission in Erotic Literature

Dominance and submission in Erotic Literature

Erotica and Erotic Romance has increasingly discovered BDSM and D/s power exchange – which, as I enjoy reading, I consider a good thing. But, over the recent months, I have come to realise that the tenor of the representation of the scenarios has changed. This...
An Apology to Gags

An Apology to Gags

I hate gags. I truly do. Not only has their use never aroused me, it has always bothered me enough that I have discouraged them in play. They have never affected me enough, emotionally or physically, to refuse their use, though I need to be in a safe place in my mind...